Leaving: Blog 1, Dhamma Year ( written mostly on the plane to San Fransisco)
Counting down the days, summer hot days, filled with friends-family-a dog-and a cat.
Do you remember that feeling?
When you know your life will completely change and the whole world stands with you, almost begging you to take it in.
Smell the air. Smile with those you love. Let go of the ones you hate.
Did I just say hate and I will be spending a year at Buddhist centers but I can’t help but be human?
What does it mean to be human for you?
Do you remember that feeling?
When you know your life will completely change and the whole world stands with you, almost begging you to take it in.
Smell the air. Smile with those you love. Let go of the ones you hate.
Did I just say hate and I will be spending a year at Buddhist centers but I can’t help but be human?
What does it mean to be human for you?
For me, it's a path of letting go. I can think about letting go. I can think about my body getting older, my mind forgetting, and the world endlessly changing.
Enough philosophizing.
I wanted to write a tribute to my backpack. It may not be the same backpack, I used hitchhiking the west coast, Thailand, and India. I have noticed it’s getting heavier over the years. You think with getting older it would get lighter. I would care about fewer things. I know life is impermanent, so why grasp?
Unfortunately, the opposite is true-more clothes, technology (I am writing on a laptop in an airplane currently), and sleepwear ( I wrote this when I was tired, what is sleepwear?). I remember when I never thought about the weight of the pack, straps breaking, and or the fees of flying with two or one packs. Now, the fees add up, climate change is on the wings of the plane, and the world is at a standstill. A virus is stalking us in every breathe.
I am leaving for a year.
A year of Dhamma. A year of meditation. A year of community. Elders. Bowing endless. It’s not the bow to any person but to the qualities that unite humankind: peace, generosity, patience, effort, insights, kindness, concentration, and the ability to empathize with life itself. Hopefully, as I travel my bag will become lighter. Lesser worries about getting cold, hot, and dealing with the unknown.
I will develop more faith to be able to endure the unknown and integrate the moment's endless teaching into a presence of heart. Beating-now. So as I travel to California, the land of fire, gold, and a divergence of culture. I will always remember Chicago.
A Windy City, blowing those who live in it-feeling of connections. To the rivers as it winds downtown-to the endless lakefront- to CPS and the Union's endless struggle to support every student- to the many workers who have created one of the most beautiful places on earth. Protected from hurricanes, earthquakes, and flood-rains (knock on wood). The cost of living, although rising in areas-still is manageable compared to the Bay Area and NYC. The lake in the summertime is a living shrine gifting blessing to those who are able to look under the surface. Just under the water lives another world.
Trust.
In yourself.
In yourself.
Unified with everything under and over. I am talking to myself right now-pumping myself up for a trip of a lifetime. Years of planning. Now off a cliff-I jump. I have done it before but it feels new. Almost scary. Seeing my dog's sad eyes today and the eyes of the most powerful woman, I have ever known, offers grief and power.
Humbled by the roots-wet under the surface-braches out with readiness.
Let it begin.
