Post-Buddha Year Reflection into Suffering 2023 and The Why:
Ending of a year, journey, and starting anew.
Some unknown shadow whispered,
“Why haven’t you been writing for a while.”
I was so glad to hear say only I wish I had a solid answer.
I can make a thousand excuses. Busy meditating. Applying for jobs. Running away from Covid. Into Covid. Moving. A new city. A new job. Living with a partner for the first time. Watching too much Netflix, and HBO (fucking Dragon shows). Tik-Tok. Swimming. Gym. Repeat. Give alms. Wat Dhammangkol. Repeat. Mindfulness mini-film. Preparing for Lip Sync battles; to name a few moderate excuses.
You see, it’s not an easy response.
I have been tutoring two brilliant English learners but, I, myself, am not even writing nor am I mastering Thai or Spanish.
Hypocrite.
So, whoever asked me to write a blip, thanks for starting a new chapter.
Sacred Importance
So, what’s to say, what’s to report. Do you all have any questions? I wish I can ask every human: are you happy? What’s making you peaceful? How can you become more peaceful; do you know how to maximize your happiness? I don’t think I have ever asked anyone that in real life those questions nor do I have the answers. LOL.
It’s like we work so hard to find an island, then forget to keep the bridge from where we came. Then repeat that process over and over again. What if everyone created, maintained, and sustained those bridges. Discoveries and technologies galore, make sense? Didn’t think so.
The Youth
Keep connecting those neurons…,
“you feel me,” as my student says while I tutor him.
It’s slightly cringy and I think, ‘this kid shouldn’t talk like that to his elders” and I think, ‘am I that old?’…YES!
But another part of me is laughing, it’s hilarious to hear that from this kid…
“Do you feel me?”
I see our young ones, bright-red-tired eyes, watching the world through their phones, dancing on TikTok, living through anime, South Korea cultured, so cool, too cool…
It’s awesome.
Yeah, they have problems. But don’t we all. The respect for elders and traditions are cast off...
However, what has these old traditions brought us? Attachments to countries over humanity? Gods over trees? Emotions over science and reason.
Youth, “I see you.”
Avatar just smiled.
“I see you too, elders!”
Media Addictions
Does anyone else feel like we are in a cinematic-creative-intercultural-cosmic climax, right now?
I know, it’s not perfect, but before the haters start to say how shitty everything is. Yes, it could be better. Please keep bettering.
But Wakanda Forever - still can’t get over the exchange of Latin American ancient folklore, Atlantis, and the Great lost African Empire, and after being endlessly buried in colonial ruins they arose like Jesus at Christmas or Easter (I forget the holiday where he comes back from the dead and disappears again).
And we have Everything Everywhere All at Once, one of the most creative, bizarre, and heartfelt movies of all time. Insane joy with a simple message of love, learning, and fun.
You see, I grew up watching mostly White people in films. These films were highly heteronormative and followed a similar recipe for success. Now I am seeing highly talented, diverse cultures, and ethnicities on the big screens, and movies challenging the polarities of wrong and right; and wobbling between the brilliant grey in-between good and bad. Where the villain is not just evil but an ever-changing back and forth; taunting the various realm in which we all live.
I prob should go on a media fast- what do you think?
An Illusionary Door?
What was your favorite media this year? Artists on TikTok/Instagram/Street Performer beyond your friends…
It’s fun to see random people become famous. Think about years ago, it was harder to become known. I don’t think we are solving wealth inequality with social media- but def letting the sunshine of success in places that were once cut off.
Yet, the opposite is true too, because you see the moonlight on all these crazy conspiracies of; hate, filter-less speech, and impoverished hearts rewarding one another when they create cruelty.
Yup, interesting times…indeed.
Educational Foundation
What else. heartbeat. Thump. Thump. Education. The pulse of humanity.
Working in any school, education is placed on a lofty mantle. Yet, if we take anything for granted, the novelty recedes. So, I honor those who are keeping education fresh. Understanding without the social and emotional hearts of the students engaged and kept safe – the core of learning will be lost.
Learning does not only occur within school walls but everywhere, anytime, all at once; it is wall-less, boundless, and endless.
It’s the curiosity of a kid living happily in reality and fantasy while asking about the wonder of everything. Or the elders reminding those busy faces to slow down, look at those fall tree leaves, changing colors, dropping to the ground, and transforming to compost. It’s easy to think this process of change happens every year but in actuality, it could be the last time we see those leaves metaphorizing.
Suffering 2023
Suffering- will set you free.
My slogan of 2023.
Suffering will set you free!
Every moment, feel it, some tension, a little stress.
In the bladder, waiting to pee, or waiting for a ticket. Tension. Running out of money. A beautiful object catches your eye but they look away. A grade you wish you had. A teacher who could be better. A friend who could have said something different or done something a little more kind. Mom or Dad saying no or not saying enough or too much! Trouble around every bend, if you don’t expect it to curve.
These are all my learning.
Lean into the suffering. Running away from it; will never transform it.
It’s as normal as the sun-rising everyday-it’s only an illusion that it goes away. The same holds for suffering. Accept it, breath into it, and watch; amazingly as it changes.
Suffering changes.
The show of a lifetime. The greatest movie ever made.
We are its director, writer, producer, and cinematographer. We are the main actors in this brilliant Odyssey. Watch suffering change. It changes stories day by day, moment to moment.
It flashes to love and sorrow. Care and grief. Expectations lead to…. well, choose.
What to do on an airplane or in danger:
The world shakes. I’m how many miles up. Remain calm and pray.
Prayers that include all being- a universal kinship of kindness and wisdom that can shine through all corners of the universe.
The play changes- to a global phenomenon.
One that celebrates the interexchange of cultures, ideas, customs, and religions.
Try this. Try that.
Appropriation some say.
Universal Language
Maybe that’s true if you don’t honor those who brought you whatever teachings move you. But don’t die where you started or you will have never left, learned, fell, bruised, and got back up stronger knowing what you want.
Great beings- with universal kinship in their hearts- that taught all being the basic truths.
Suffering will change in endless ways. Identities will change to respond to it. Identities will adapt to suffering, and transform suffering into true happiness, infinite times over. The battle where no one really wins, unless they know they don’t. Change is always happening, the only true thing that’s changeless.
Watch it. For a moment. In the breath and in bodily sensations.
Bow to the earth, to the teachers, teaching, and those who have reminded humans of their universal responsibility and kinship. Beyond nations, religions, regions, and the nuclear family. A duty to something greater not beyond the heart but the only thing in the heart- the only reason why it’s actually beating- to respond unconditionally.
The Robes
When I started this blog, I had no idea where I was going to go with it. But we have set sails now and here is a little taste of my different life.
I don’t know where I will end up. In the temple, Robed with the clothes of the Arahants, Ones that have Gone Forth. They offer refuge from a world on fire from sensual desires. It’s not that the Robes which are freedom- but they offer a space to arise it. Come without money. Gather untethered from your sexual predator. Instead of one, two, and or three loves; you can belove many and all.
No, you don’t need to stay forever. But sometimes you may want that space beyond consumerism. Those Robes have maintained and multiped those realms for eons.
I am like a moth to the moonlight of those temples. I can’t resist them. But what’s best for me? Ancient Robes or the flashy undercover lay person that still sneaks to dark corners in the night; further reflection inspection is still needed.
I don’t want to waste my life. I ask: how many people in the world have this calling to the holy life? One of my favorite responses people offer when someone wants to be a Monk or in response to Buddha’s choice to place Monks and Nuns as true models for the world,
“What would happen if everyone was a Monk- who would have children?”
I laugh, think, and say, “how many people actually want to be Monks?”
Slim to none. Out of those people how many people actually take steps to live that life…. now we are talking.
So, let’s see. Hopefully, that puts those fears to rest, the world has plenty of families but for those who go beyond the family and live for the community- the jury is still out.
As I visit my loved ones in Chicago- a city of wind, snow, and fire; I will think about this.
I’ve found, choices are best done when the mind has time to marinate the tofu. Add Spice. Turn it over. Wait for everything to crystalize. It’s been months and I have let this simmer.
Windy City
Family time. Old friends. My mom uses to sing in her horse, raspy, baritone voice, often mistaken for my father's voice, “make new friends but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold.”
I still don’t know whose silver and gold. But I am thrilled to see my friends and family. Walk the ole streets, with a leash in one hand, shit bag in the other, and watching the tongue dangling out of Okie’s (the dog of a lifetime, mouth!). This dog was wandering the streets on the south side of Chicago, a pit pulls mixed with who knows what, but the kindest animal I have ever met.
EXPAT LIFE
I have been living out of the United States for over a year now and I can’t say I miss it. I miss my friends and family but the actual culture and direction of the people- not so much.
America is a land guided by the “American dream” rather on the political Left or Right. The Right dream consists of people keeping their money, holding to their religion, and persevering the ‘America’ they think they know. While the Left’s dream is one of human and environmental rights and a rising standard of living based on the government’s assistance. In theory, these two polarities could discuss, share, and find comprise. Yet, America is divided and these two sides are often ready to battle (me included).
I often reflect on America's deadly past and current state of affairs. Making billions of dollars selling deadly weapons. One of the Buddha’s main warnings to lay people on the topic of right livelihood and the welfare of nations was to avoid the trade in killer technologies. He never said, don’t avoid defending yourself but abstain from making money off of it. America’s state of affairs is possibly the ‘chickens coming home to roost’ for years of meddling in coups, stirring internal strife in other countries, helping religious extremists, and destroying democratic institutions in the international community. Now, America is on the cusp of civil war, highly weaponized, anyone can become a victim anywhere, and a lack of trust is running rampant.
Even amongst the Left and Right, be careful what you say. Don’t offend religion or “White culture” on the Right or make an insensitive joke on the Left. These cultures thrive when people walk on eggshells around each other; it may explain the crazy violence that ensues from this pent-up aggression, lack of funding for mental illness, and making guns as easy as buying snickers.
I find Thai culture embraces careful speech. They would rather avoid controversy than say something that can cause one. I like it. In Thailand, you have less crime, big smiles, you can generally trust people, there is no unsafe part of Bangkok (the biggest city in Thailand), and a general easefulness pervades. Thais are constantly offering flowers representing kind actions to their alters, incense representing wholesome concentration, and candles symbolizing the ability to see (insight) change, stress, and not-self in every moment.
While Americans are offering their guns, puritan views in the Left and Right.
Being humble is not a cultural strength in the land of the free but almost a quality to be mocked.
I said Thais value humble speech, and I still am working on my abilities.
In contrast, golden welcoming temples open seven days a week glitter in every landscape. These Temples have Buddha in every position, color, shape, and size. Many Christians, Jews, and Muslims would scowl at the devotion people offer to these statues and call it, “idol worship.” However, the only idol is the Aramaic religious attachment and idolatry to their minds; to what is pure and acceptable.
Look deeper, Thais are not worshipping an idol but the qualities that it brings, the legacy of who created the statue (or artist), and the ashes of their loved ones scattered amongst these spaces of peace, kind speech, and tolerance. Nothing more. No God or lack of God. Create what you may to generate a positive mind state- there is no perfect prescription in the Buddha’s teaching just a culture of curiosity, introspection, and active merit-making.
Needless to say, I love Thailand-what a culture-what a tolerant, calm, and kind collective intersection of the world. I can’t wait to visit Japan and Taiwan too as those cultures seem to embrace kind, unique, and humanistic qualities as cornerstones to their unique civilizations.
By no means am I over America. I will probably be back one day, living and complaining happily ever after.
Afterthoughts
As I review my writing, I realize I rely on philosophy and opinions to guide my writing. In the future, I will attempt to incorporate more storytelling, vulnerable experiences from my life, etc. I may be trying to cover up those topics by riding on my high horse. Let me know if you have any questions or concerns and thanks for reading my mini-American-Thai-bloga-novela.
